1. That’s a No Go
When your brain’s trained response to dropping something is “The 10 Second Rule” and then you drop your toothbrush on the floor of the campground bathroom.
2. The Last Straw
* I’m apolitical; the following is for satirical purposes only.
Trump evicting a bison herd is my threshold; should he ever visit a National Park, may a grizzly bear stand over him—not angry, just profoundly disappointed.
3. Happy Mother’s Day (to moi)
Em and Eric put together a perfectly personalized posy for the party.
And the neighbors gave me a bonus Mother’s Day gift—transPLANTS for an area that could use erosion prevention.
4. Kream of the Krop Kolaches
My Mom’s Bakery in Ely, IA makes the best kolaches around!
My body and belly were warmed by the campfire and breakfast delicacy:
5. You’re an A$$ 🫏 (but in this case—not ME)
When others ASS-U-ME they know, and couldn’t be more wrong (except about the tomboy part)……
She married an older man—gold digger!
She works the desk at a golf course—must not be educated.
And she has other part-time jobs and her husband just retired—must need the money.
She doesn’t wear make-up….tomboy…let herself go…not feminine enough…making a statement…unprofessional…trying too hard not to try.
She asks deep questions—must be unhappy.
She’s in great shape at age 46—must workout all the time because she’s obsessed with her figure.
She’s competitive—must be insecure.
She doesn’t sit still—must be running from something.
She’s outspoken and intense. Bitch.
She walked away from given coaching roles—couldn’t cut it.
From a distance, nearly every life can be misdiagnosed.
Especially by people who’ve never done the homework.
And judgment is easy from the bleachers.
Understanding usually requires getting on the field.
6. Fumigation Needed
When you always thought your Grandma and your Grandma’s house needed fumigation because they smelled like a high dose perfume gone wrong—and then you bought an econo sized bottle of shampoo and realize that this exact product was the source of all smelly evil—and you happen to need to use this product in an enclosed vapor-enhancing chamber of death.
7. Broken Seal
I’m over the hill.
The only way that I can chill,
while drinking any kind of swill,
is to dilute it past all thrill—
10% alcohol, 90% water fill.
And the resulting bathroom drill
makes for a complete mood kill.
8. Polite Pups
For how untrained our dog pack can seem at times….have your dogs ever lined up single file in order of age at treat time?!?
9. Closing Credits
I appreciate you.
And I appreciate your readership. 😘
Kristine Joy, Writer 
Leave a comment