Kristine Joy, Writer

To Whom It May Concern and FWIW,*

• I needed for someone to turn out in front of me while driving on a two-way side street, effectively slowing me from 30 mph to 15 mph, because moments earlier, I had jumped the gun and done the exact same thing to someone else. #karma

👁️ for an 👁️

• I need to know whether arriving to an otherwise empty trailhead with the tri team at 7 AM on a Sunday morning when the temperature is in the low 40’s in order to set out on morning bike ride is a sign of initiative or stupidity?!?
  • I needed for the athletes to handle the cold externally better than I did internally. They did!! 👏
  • My core temperature is only now starting to warm up (and it’s Tuesday morning).

• I need not to have brought my computer to a personal commitment with the intention of signing on for an obligatory Zoom meeting, and then to have forgotten about the meeting. 🙄
  • And I guess I needed for someone to notice/care that I wasn’t there?!? Or not…..live to work live!

• I need to have an entire WAD OF CASH and at the moment, I do!!
  • But, I need for more of those bills to be $20’s instead of $1’s.
    • And I need for you not to wonder why I have so many $1’s because the reason is as pure as a mountain stream; quite literally – they’re leftover from Summer travels / the fact that you need exact dollar amounts when registering at desolate campsites.
      • And I needed for our two change jars to have been cashed in and counted for a grand total of $145.23 (because I’m short on $20’s 🤣).

• I need for our tomato plants to be producing enough produce for me to have a BLT on the daily! 🥪🍅😋 #holdthemayo

• I needed to have a day that included all of the following:
  • Morning Coffee 👩‍❤️‍👨 🐶 🐕 🐕
  • To have led a quality Strength & Conditioning session and productive practice for W Triathlon. To have been part of a M Tennis practice that was led by my husband.
  • Personal Fitness/Fun – Tennis, Lift, Golf, Walking, Cycling (some call it riding), Sex (yet another ride 😉)
  • Time for Reading and Writing
  • U.S. Open Tennis and La Vuelta on TV
  • Mother Daughter QT

• I needed for the book, I’d Rather be Reading, by Anne Bogel, TO NOT have expired as a “Free Audiobook” on Audible before I was done listening to it!
  • Before Crash: I 🧡 the idea of having a bookshelf of books written by friends, or people that I’ve personally met, and surprisingly have a solid start on taking up some shelf space:

• As part of my journey to be well-read, I needed to have read Born a Crime, by Trevor Noah, because it was a flawless blend of eye-opening comedic enlightenment. And I needed to have read the following passages for my own personal journey:
  • In reference to abuse from his step-father, “It felt like something that would end when he wanted it to end, when his rage was spent.”
    • I haven’t been my best self to my husband of recent and have attributed part of that to perimenopause / hormones, but the passage above makes me wonder if I have anger pent up inside me (from happenings in my life, at myself, etc.).
      • Thankfully, only my husband has experienced Krisanity and Krisanity isn’t angry enough to hit anything but a door and that only happened once.
  • “Being chosen is the greatest gift you can give to another human being.”
    • Right or wrong, I may well carry anger that stems from the times when I’ve felt not chosen, a/the priority or second place (both personally and professionally). And I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that because of how often that I HAVE BEEN CHOSEN (pretty sure I’ve been the 1st pick for playground games and teams more times than anyone else that exists on this Earth).
  • “You do not own the thing that you love.”
    • My nature “to want to be in control” needs to hear this over and over again.

• I needed to have re-discovered Clearly Canadian. 😋

• I needed to not conclude that my daughter’s driving was a bit zippy, nor have to brace myself as she rounded corners (yes, plural!), within minutes of her telling me, “I’ll drive IF you don’t say anything about my driving.”

I appreciate your readership. I need the validation as writer; if there is a like or heart icon for you to depress, I’d most appreciate the support!

Sincerely,

K.J. Sculling

* The content is presented as “needs”, and some of them may front a harsh reality that evoke strong emotions. Others are expressed in pure jest to entertain myself (and maybe you?!?). Ultimately, the notion that we all live in a more idyllic world is at the core and not actual need. Life can be tough; regardless of your own circumstances, please keep up the fight because life can also be grand! The idea of ‘I Need…’ stemmed from my thought process while sitting at a red light listening to the song, Alright by Darius Rucker, on the radio (you can read the original ‘Idealist’ post here and all ‘Idealist’ posts here). If you’re inspired to submit your own ‘Idealist’ “needs” for future reader write-in posts, I’d love to hear from you via this form.