Kristine Joy, Writer

1. Successive Spoken Thoughts

While on the Interstate, Em and I were having a conversation about how dangerous semis can be.

I said, “Now you know why I wanted you to have a bigger vehicle. I’d buy you a tank if that were legal.”

To which, Em successively replied:

“I don’t think that would fly.”

“Of course it wouldn’t; it’s a tank.”

“WHYYY did I have to inherit your stupid humor DNA?”

2. Simpler Times

Same conversation from above, but later. We got on the topic of life insurance. My parent duty kicked in; I felt a need to dive into “adulting”—utilities, the various types of insurance, taxes, etc.

As part of this, I provided her a far-reaching hypothetical in which Eric and I, her Dad and her former, but still step-Mom, all had life insurance policies and died in the same plane crash. Despite my legal background, I made the quiet assumption that our deaths were spontaneously at the precise same time so as not to complicate this further.

I explained the resulting situation had she been younger, now and/or in the future, trusts, who she’d live with, at what age she’d control the $, etc.

And in true form, Em’s insight was invaluable, blunt honest and jocular.

“Who invented life insurance? Wouldn’t you come out ahead if you invested the policy payments and passed that money down? Why did we/humans have to make everything so complicated?”

“No offense, but it would have been way more fun to live with (cousins) M & K.”

“When we get home, I’ll look into a flight for the 4 of you. My treat.”

“Kidding. I hope all of you live forever.” ☺️

Between siblings, step-siblings, half-siblings and siblings yet-to-be-named, we may have invented a new species of tree—complicated family.

3. Inferior Intellectualism

I need for the in-laws of my friend to NOT have done the following.

Said:

“Son, our dearest Stanford graduate, we saved this (insert name of a community college) brochure for your wife in case she sees a class that sparks her interest.”

Not Said:

“She really isn’t using her Harvard degree to a degree that suits us—you know, raising our lovely grandchildren, volunteering at their school, being heavily involved in the community and community theater, maintenance of a writing website where the content is her own and this latest venture, what does she call it, a podcast?—this just isn’t cutting it for how she chooses to spend her time, not to mention the impact on our ego. And for someone with so much potential; what a pittance!”

Which brings me to my next idealistic thought of the week…

4. Architect, Specialty—Life

I needed to pat myself, and my friend, on the back after stumbling across this:

5. BRAIN Teaser

6. Opposites Attract

When it comes to the timer on the microwave, car radio or TV volume, thermostat, etc., my husband always sets it to an odd number and I an even.

I needed for him to laugh at my commentary on the topic.

Good thing opposites attract since I’m so EVEN keel and you’re ODD.

He did. 😘

7. Breath of Fresh Air

I need for my Dad to have reminders in HIS calendar to replace the air filters in OUR house.

Thanks Dad—for making our life one detail simpler and covering the cost, but most of all, for caring about our well-being!

8. Test Trouble

Family Group Text

(which I now realize, needs a name):

Em: I did really bad on my APUSH test today
Eric: Sorry. I didn't know you had a test today.
Em: I didn't either lol

Added Note: Adults employ the use of periods while teenagers do not—if you need an explanation, it’s because teenagers think that a period indicates an emphatic aggressive thought while adults still believe that it (only) means the end of a grammatically-correct sentence.

9. Closing Credits

I appreciate you.

And I appreciate your readership. 😘

P.S. The two preceding sentences end in a period because they are BOTH grammatically correct AND emphatic thoughts!