Kristine Joy, Writer

To Whom It May Concern and FWIW,*

• I need for Apple to tell me that it will take 8.5 hours to transfer my data from an old Mac to a new Mac but for the actual time to take less than 30 minutes (and for me to have knocked out household chores for the duration of this time). Knowing Apple, this is probably an integral tactic in their psychological playbook; for the average user brain to be THAT MUCH MORE impressed with an Apple product.
  • I also need for this new keyboard to feel as smooth as red velvet under my fingertips. The above mentioned tactic is an easy “tell them it will take this long and then complete the task in less than 6% of that time” implement, but I haven’t the slightest idea how Apple instills a sense of physical feel that is honestly, dreamlike. 👏
  • And I need for this new computer to be operating at what seems 1000x the speed of my old computer.
  • Finally, ’tis bittersweet that I need to start fresh on the computer decals.

R.I.P.

• I need for the crabgrass killer spray to actually work because, well, there are quite large sections of our “yard” that are 98% crabgrass.
  • I needed for the edger that we borrowed from my pops to make the yard, despite the crabgrass, to appear presentable enough for the time being! Though, the neighbors may not think so…

• I need to have received this spam text, “I’ve got a special bottle of wine ready to open tonight. Join me? It would be great to have some company.”

It’s always nice to be wanted. 😊

• Remember my sucker that sucked at sucking? I need to have found this new vacuum that is the furthest from sucking because it ACTUALLY SUCKS; to the point of sucking the rug right off the floor (positioning myself to hold the rug down turned vacuuming into leg day)!

• For the sake of the walking lady, I need for the walking lady, while on her phone through AirPods, to be less animated nonverbally because her over-gesticulation very much gave off the appearance of one in need of a mental health facility.

• When packing the truck at 4:58 AM in prep for a 5 AM departure for a camping trip with 3 teenagers, I needed to remember that there was a (still empty) metal hitch rack attached to the truck when facing forward but jumping backwards off the bed of the truck. I needed for the next 4 things that I heard to not be:

My shin hitting the metal edge of the rack followed, shortly thereafter, by my knee hitting the metal.

“Is that bone? Do you need stitches?” – Daughter’s Boyfriend

“Ouch. I know how you feel. I’ve hit myself with a tennis racquet in the same spot multiple times.” – Husband

“Where’s my pillow? Can I go back to sleep?” – Daughter

• We, collectively, need not have broken three fishing rods (out of two fishing rods + a purchased replacement fishing rod) while on a 12 day camping trip.

• Being a household that has someone (usually my husband) Zwifting nearly everyday, we needed to learn of, purchase and set up the sleeker looking, simplified, takes up less space, churns out more accurate metrics Zwift Ride:

Zwifting

action verb

using the Zwift platform, an online cycling and running application that allows users to train, race and explore virtual worlds using a smart trainer or treadmill

• I need to have discovered donut peaches delivered via Misfits because the variation is my new favorite and if you think otherwise….

To Peach Their Own

• My daughter was helping me to cook and I asked her to grab the Pam from the cupboard. The conversation that followed leads me to believe that Pam needs to rethink the name of their product:

Emmie: Pan?

Mom: No, Pam.

Emmie: Hmmm, it’s actually called Pam. I thought it was Pan because that’s what you spray it on – pans.

I appreciate your readership. I need the validation as writer; if there is a like or heart icon for you to depress, I’d most appreciate the support!

Sincerely,

K.J. Sculling

* The content is presented as “needs”, and some of them may front a harsh reality that evoke strong emotions. Others are expressed in pure jest to entertain myself (and maybe you?!?). Ultimately, the notion that we all live in a more idyllic world is at the core and not actual need. Life can be tough; regardless of your own circumstances, please keep up the fight because life can also be grand! The idea of ‘I Need…’ stemmed from my thought process while sitting at a red light listening to the song, Alright by Darius Rucker, on the radio (you can read the original ‘Idealist’ post here and all ‘Idealist’ posts here). If you’re inspired to submit your own ‘Idealist’ “needs” for future reader write-in posts, I’d love to hear from you via this form.