Kristine Joy, Writer

To Whom It May Concern and FWIW,*

• I observed a gal playing pickleball in designer “athletic” shoes that had a 3 inch heel built into the sole. I need to know how she kept herself from falling into the kitchen because that line is tricky enough for a balanced sole/soul!

• I gave a pickleball lesson to a woman named “Bethany” that said she had a pickleball court at her house, but literally, had never played. Apparently, the universe needed me to rethink the concept of fairness and/or to philosophically rehash the whole chicken and egg conundrum.

• I need for, when researching a Power Cage, to not see the submitted question, “Does it come with a workout guide?”
  • I feel like if you NEED a workout guide, maybe you shouldn’t be buying this extensive of equipment?!?
  • Needed company response, “Check back later. Start with dumbbells. And if you think that owning the equipment will teach you how to use the equipment via osmosis, ask Bethany how that worked out for her.”
  • I need to work 116 hours at the golf course OR we need to sell the RV so that we have the supplemental income for me to buy this:

• I needed to have learned what a brick workout was before completing an Ironman (because of the many times that I was made to feel amateur, judged, stupid, unprepared, idiotic, crazy and/or naive when the subject came up). And because it #wouldhavebeenhelpful.
  • My friend joked, lovingly, that I represent the singular dot in this Venn diagram where the circles would touch if there was one person crazy enough to be that person 🙋‍♀️:

BRICK WORKOUT

a training session in which you do two disciplines back to back with no rest (ex: bike ride followed by a run)

• I also needed for my friend, less experienced in triathlon than I, to point out that I was wearing my wetsuit backwards a week before my first event because that would have been embarrassing. I literally had this thought while training (a swim only workout of course):

• The theme here seemed to develop along the lines of Ill Advised so I feel a need to advise you to do more research than I did when making an appointment with a new gynecologist:

New gynecologist enters exam room with a clipboard in hand:

Gynecologist: You live on Adamson Street?

Me: Yes

Gynecologist (enthusiastically): I’M YOUR NEIGHBOR!

Me: Awesome.

(fast forward 3 hours; gynecologist drives up the hill and waves out the window to me)

• I also need to advise you against having one, two or three hangry teenagers in the back of your truck while in the middle of South Dakota without an acceptable option for miles.

• And finally, I needed to realize (in time to react by standing up) that my poop was of enough size and solidity to hit the surface liquid of the pit toilet with enough force to cause splash powerful enough to cover the distance my shi+ just fell.

I appreciate your readership. I need the validation as writer; if there is a like or heart icon for you to depress, I’d most appreciate the support

Sincerely,

K.J. Sculling

* The content is presented as “needs”, and some of them may front a harsh reality that evoke strong emotions. Others are expressed in pure jest to entertain myself (and maybe you?!?). Ultimately, the notion that we all live in a more idyllic world is at the core and not actual need. Life can be tough; regardless of your own circumstances, please keep up the fight because life can also be grand! The idea of ‘I Need…’ stemmed from my thought process while sitting at a red light listening to the song, Alright by Darius Rucker, on the radio (you can read the original ‘Idealist’ post here and all ‘Idealist’ posts here). If you’re inspired to submit your own ‘Idealist’ “needs” for future reader write-in posts, I’d love to hear from you via this form.