Kristine Joy, Writer

Describe one version of you from this year that almost existed but didn’t (per this mission).

I almost part checked out on life. And I mean this metaphorically. I’m obviously not six feet under, nor did I walk up to the desk pictured below and exchange my key for the bill.

Whether it was perimenopausal hormones, self-reckoning, a lack of purpose (on a larger scale than myself), the need for a new sandbox or my energies spent in ways that did not fulfill me, I spent too much time:

• On a hamster wheel that didn’t roll anywhere.
• Standing next to the hamster wheel thinking about the hamster wheel.
• Walking around the hamster wheel debating whether I should get back on and if so, wondering which direction I should roll.
• Pondering why and the worth of being on said hamster wheel.
• Philosophically, contemplating “is being on the hamster wheel or in the backwoods more profound?”

As the year comes to a close though, I can proudly say that I’m back in motion. And maybe with more wisdom when it comes to whether, why, how and the directionals.

I shall not hamster wheel for the sake of hamster wheelin’.

I shall not hamster wheel for the wrong reasons.

Nor for the right reasons if left depleted and unfulfilled.

Suffice it to say, I’m back.

Up & Running

(🏃‍♀️ is a metaphor for all of my ventures, adventures, relationships, activities, side quests…)

I may have gotten off the hamster wheel here and there, sat in the lobby, rode the elevator up and down, had a drink at the bar and aimlessly walked the staircases but I never left the building because the version of me that gives up or ultimately loses hope still doesn’t exist.