#15
K: Do you want to go to the Y this morning?
E: Depends on my mood.
K: What is your mood?
E: My mood is no. HyVee for breakfast?
And later, while at HyVee for breakfast (because AFE):
#14
Home Sick
“I wish I felt normal. When I’m normal, I am joyous.”
While texting on my phone (and from a room away):
“Will you please stop typing? My body doesn’t like it.”
“No, I don’t want toast. That is bread, and I don’t feel like anything from that section. No cheese either.”
Mom then got sick (of course)….
Mom: Mom still doesn’t feel well. Can you do that for yourself? I took care of you while you were sick.
Emmie: Yeah, but I was only sick for a day, and you’ve been sick for like 3 days.
#13
ALL IN A DAY FLIGHT THAT GOT TURNED AROUND SHORTLY AFTER DEPARTURE
On the ground….
While watching others put their luggage overhead, “In my brain, I’m like, c’mon people.”
In the air…
K: Emmie, look at those canyons!
E: Those aren’t cannons. There’d be bullets coming out of them.
Grandma: Eric couldn’t come because of work?
Kris: Right, the men start practice on Monday.
Emmie (listening): That’s why I never want to sign up for a job.
(the women in the row behind us laughed out loud)
Shortly thereafter, the pilot informed us we were turning around because of a warning light that had come on.
Back on the ground…
We had 4 firetrucks chase us to the terminal. We were seated near the back and Emmie needed to use the restroom while others were deplaning. After the plane was emptied, Grandma knocked on the door:
Grandma: You ok?
Emmie: Yeah. I’m trying. I may need another 20 minutes or so though.
Flight Attendant: She needs to deplane sooner than 20 minutes from now.
#12
While traveling with Grandpa, and at a gas station:
Emmie: Will you get me something to eat? I want to stay in the car and watch Ninja Turtles.
Grandpa: You’re not staying in the car by yourself.
Emmie: Why not? Just get me anything that says Lays on it.
Grandpa: What?
Emmie: Like Lays potato chips would be fine.
Upon entering the gas station, and frustrated that she ultimately had to go with:
Emmie: See, they’re right here by the door. Lays potato chips!
#11
Following a tantrum where she had requested new parents:
Mom: Keep your eyes peeled for parents that you may want to live with. We’ll interview them to make sure they’re acceptable.
E: What if they end up being supporters of Voldemort?
Mom: You probably won’t know that until after you live with them for awhile.
E: Well, I really don’t want new parents.
#10
Mom: Ain’t isn’t a word.
Emmie: Sure it is. It’s in a song……even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with you honey (singing of course).
#9
Marketing Guru
While studying the Nilla Wafer box:
Emmie: Doesn’t that cupcake with Nilla Wafers on top look good?
Mom: It sure does.
Emmie: Yeah, that’s a good advertisement, right?
In listening to the radio on the way to school, a commercial relayed a 1-800 # multiple times throughout:
“They should make that shorter. They’re not going to get much customers; people will forget that long number.”
There was a radio advertisement on in the car claiming cell phone activation for only 1 cent:
“They’re lying. No one sells anything for only a penny. Who is going to believe that?”
#8
While cleaning up her room to make room for more toys:
“Can you put this back on? Her head fell off her body. Or, her body fell off her head. I don’t know.”
And then Batmobile rolled off a shelf and hit Mom on the head:
E: Ohhhhh, Batmobile!?!?
K: It hit me in the head; aren’t you concerned about my well-being?
E: Yeah, well, Batmobile is DEAD!
#7
#6
Vocabulary
After Wrigley marked a tree:
Emmie: That’s called marking their symmetry.
Mom: Do you mean territory?
Emmie: Yeah, that.
Emmie (after having picked a dandelion): Will you hold the dandelion; I’m scared it will roar.
Mom: Why would it roar?
Emmie: Because it’s a dande-LION.
“Why don’t they just say cactuses instead of cacti?”
“I don’t want chili seeds in my smoothie.” (chia)
“If you walk all the way to the kitchen and then back to help me, that’d be unofficial.” (inefficient)
While watching Ninja Turtles….
“Yuck. They are eating worms and allergy.” (algae)
Mom: We cancelled the trip. You’re a bit under the weather, and I’d like for you to be….
E: Over the weather?
E: There is a new boy in my class named EJ.
Grandma: Egypt?
Emmie: No, that’s a country Grandma. Haven’t you heard of ancient Egypt?
Kris: Wrigley just collapsed onto the bed.
Emmie: You mean CO-llapsed. You said CA-llapsed.
Emmie: Hey, City Hall. Eric is in that.
Kris: Do you mean the Hall of Fame?
Emmie: Oh, yeah. That.
“They should make a 4th movie and call it Ernest is Honest since that kind of means the same thing.”
Moments later, and while studying a Monster High DVD:
“This guy, Valentine, he broke up with like 10,000 girls. He pretended to love them. Isn’t that not very earnest?”
#5
Kris: Here is a worksheet from your bag; do you need to do it?
E: No, that was from the extra pile. We don’t have to do them.
Kris: Why did you take it then?
E: So I can make copies of it for when I’m a teacher. It’s part of my master plan.
#4
E has been wearing a backwards hat to basketball because “basketball players don’t wear barrettes.”
Upon putting her hat on en route to basketball:
E: Oh man, I still look like a girl because of my long hair and girl eyes.
Mom: Is that a problem?
E: Yes, I want to look like a boy, but be a girl.
Mom: Why?
E: So I can play for the Bulls when I grow up. They won’t let me play if they know I’m a girl.
Eric: I’ll rebound for you before practice. I can probably just stand under the basket since all of your shots go in.
Emmie: No one is perfect Eric.
Eric: Well, you’re pretty darn close.
Emmie: I just rolled my eyes at you.
#3
Emmie had been intent on Subway for lunch while we were driving so we told her to keep her eyes peeled. Shortly thereafter, she exclaimed, “Hey, look, this exit has a Subway…..three of them!“
#2
Emmie: Know why I drew a picture of you?
Kris: Why?
Emmie: So I can remember you when you die.
#1
Emmie completed Kindergarten through a daycare and then through the school district. In August, just prior to starting 1ST Grade, someone asked Emmie what grade she was going into…
“Probably Kindergarten. My Mom always signs me up for Kindergarten.”
HONORABLE MENTION
“Mom, please follow me. Sometimes I have to yell for you at the longest of my lungs.”
Emmie runs down the hill, towards the school, every morning. Upon getting out of the car, I gave Emmie her backpack. She took 10 steps forward, turned back, and gave the backpack back to me, “Mommy, next time think ahead. I can’t run with my backpack on.”
Mom: I’m exhausted. How is that you’re not tired?
Emmie: Maybe I have super staying up powers. Or, because I ate too much candy.
Emmie’s teacher was conducting initial assessments. I asked Emmie what she was tested on, “You know, same old, same old.”
I then asked her what some of the words or sentences were, “Oh, one of the words was roll so I said, Mrs. Osborn, this is how we roll…..(and proceeded to sing the rest of the song to her teacher).”
The Weasley twins (in Harry Potter) invented Extendable Ears to listen in on the meetings of the Order of the Phoenix.
E: Why don’t they just use the Extendable Ears to find out what Voldemort is planning?
“It is what it is. That’s a figure of speech.”
“I tried to reach it, but the weight of my backpack held me down…..and gravity.”
With her tongue out while intently drawing….”Just like you and Grandpa. That allows me to focus.”
While walking around the Venice Boardwalk, a gentleman walked passed us muttering to himself and Emmie said, “Boy, sure looks like he’s in a bad mood.”
Excited before bed:
“Benita and I played against the boys during our free time in gym
today. Franklin got me good. He hit me right in the face with a ball.
The boys were tough. They won 98 to 10, but we could win. Only
Jahvelle and Franklin got me; none of the other boys. I dodged one of the balls, and started singing, I like to move it, move it (accompanied by a dance). I’m going to marry that boy Franklin.”
We came out of the tent after a storm and the ground was covered in hail, “Huh, someone littered ice?!?”
While playing at McDonald’s PlayPlace:
Emmie: That kid that I’m playing with; his brothers are not very nice to him. They were holding his collar like this, and holding him down. I smacked him, and said, you don’t treat little kids like that.
Kris: What did he say?
Emmie: We do when he doesn’t listen to us.
Kris: How hard did you smack him?
Emmie: Like this.
On the way to school…..
“Know what the problem with going to school is? It changes my habit of eating all the time. And I’m growing so I need to eat all the time. Same with after school daycare; they only give you one snack.”
E: Look at Summer and AJ’s snowman!
K: Do you want to build a snowman?
E: No, I don’t like having to bundle up, and then bundle out when we’re done.
In trying to get Emmie to bed…..
Kris: Emmie, you’re playing games. Let’s go.
Emmie: Yeah, I save those for when I really, really, really want something. So, can I sleep in the office tonight? Actually, my goal is to sleep in the office 3 nights in a row.
Emmie: Can we move? I like our house, but I still want to move.
Eric: Where do you want to move to?
Emmie: Well, I like water and sun. I like sun all the time, except when it is night. And know why I picked water? Because Mommy likes water.
Emmie: I want real bricks to build something with.
Kris: How about we start with an architectural computer program and learn how to build things?
Emmie: I know how to build things; I’ve been drawing pictures of
buildings my whole life.
Kris: Do you understand engineering, and how to make a structure sound and long lasting?
Emmie: Yeah, bricks have that stuff in the middle to help them stick together. I’m just a building kid, Mom, and I want to build something real.
While collecting shells:
Emmie: This is another piece to the same shell. We must be making an orphan.
Kris: What is an orphan?
Emmie: Remember what you said. It has a pearl inside it.
Kris: An oyster.
Emmie: Yeah, that.
While driving, Emmie’s Dad yawned. From the backseat, Emmie asked, “Want me to drive?”
Grandma: Why don’t you get her a Penguin necklace? This is cute.
E: No, I want to get her this unicorn necklace.
Grandma: You didn’t see unicorns here. That doesn’t make sense.
Mom: You didn’t see penguins either.
Emmie loved the Meercats. She made the comparison to the game that you have to guess which hole a guy will pop up before smacking it. There was also a meercat lounging/tanning on his back….”You can see his prive.”
While laying with Emmie in bed…..
E: How do you fall asleep? When I try to shut off my mind, it just keeps thinking, and thinking, and…
I was in the middle of providing input when she interrupted me mid-sentence:
E: Stop. I just yawned. That’s always my only chance (to fall asleep).
I put a new framed photo on the wall:
Emmie: Is that picture of me from like 2000 years ago?
Kris: It is from a few years ago. You were maybe 3 or 4.
Emmie: I am smiling so I must have been 4.
Kris: You didn’t smile when you were 3?
Emmie: No, 3 year olds don’t smile. They still look like babies.
Pizza woes….
Emmie: Hey, a pizza truck. It’s Papa John’s. Can we order Papa John’s soon? We haven’t done so since 1488.
Kris: As in, the year 1488?
Emmie: Yeah, it was that long ago.
Kris: Emmie, I need to use my phone for a minute to text Eric. He is trying to plan dinner…….(on the grill and needs a timeline).
Emmie: OK, tell him I want McDonald’s.
While playing soccer with her, and right as I moved past her to score a goal…..
Emmie: Not on my watch. Ooops; maybe I shouldn’t have said that when I did.
Grandpa had Emmie help plant some bulbs…..
E: Do you have extra dirt? I need some for my garden.
G: I can give you the rest of this bag.
E: No, that will spill in the car, and we can’t have that. I need a full bag.
G: OK, I have a full bag that you can have.
Moments later…..
E: Can I have some mulch too? My garden needs mulch.
G: How about if I tie this bag up?
E: No, I need a full bag. You shouldn’t spill mulch in the car either.
Moments later……
E: How about fertilizer? Do you have any extra fertilizer?
Emmie was sharing parts of the Annie movie with me.
Emmie: Annie’s friend asked her what it meant to have a hard knock life and Annie said, it means our life sucks!
Kris: What do you think about your life?
Emmie (singing): I’ve got a hard knock life at school.
For most of the school year, Emmie had been going to the library first thing in the morning. She stopped doing this because she now races one of the other students to get their morning work done. She’d then forget to go to the library during self selection time such that she came home without a new library book several nights in a row. This lead to later disappointment since she likes to read, and we often read her library books past “bedtime”. Yesterday…..
“I outsmarted you guys. I picked out this book so I don’t have to go to the library for 8 days.”
(a thick collection containing 8 different Curious George stories)
I was able to pick up Emmie at the end of the school day. She was walking up the hill holding hands with Conrad. We’ve had discussions about “boyfriends” and she agrees that they are friends that are boys for the time being, “Right, he’s just one of my options.”
The next morning on the way to school:
Emmie: Can you pick me up early again, and have an ice cream cone?
Kris: Not today; I have to work.
Emmie: Can’t you put someone else in charge or something?
Emmie opened a library in the basement. All her idea. We distributed flyers that read:
Now Open
Emmie’s Free Library
Where: Emmie’s House
About It:
Open on weekends and Holidays.
Movies on Holidays (times to be announced).
Memorial Day: 10:30 AM – Math Circus
Kids get free fruit.
If you don’t want to watch the movie, you can play with horses, make a rubber band bracelet or take a book and leave with a stuffed animal. If the book is returned on time, please keep the stuffed animal. If the book is not returned on time, no stuffed animal!!
While deciding on the movie:
Kris: Your movie should be educational since it is a library, right?
Emmie: Yes, but don’t list that on the invitation since kids won’t come.
Kris: Well, parents do most of the decision making and they may be more apt to bring their kids if we list which movie will be shown.
Emmie: Oh, fine.
We arrived to art class early and thus, walked to a local park. En route, “Look, she has a perfect house. No weeds in the garden, a door to the backyard, a place that she can put flowers, perfect grass….”
“Eric has super human strength. He defeated both of us (wrestling). His super hero name should be Erickoo. Like cuckoo bird, but Erickoo.”
Emmie: I’m not tired. Why do I have to go to bed?
Mom: You have school tomorrow and need your rest.
Emmie: Why do I have to go to school?
Mom: The State has a policy that children need to go to school. And you need an education such that you can get into college, graduate school and then get a job.
Emmie: So it never stops?
Mom: (chuckling)
Emmie: Do I have to get a job when I grow up?
Mom: Depends on the standard of living that you want to have. You need a source of income to pay for a house like this, have food on the table, etc. You don’t necessarily have to have a job working for someone else though.
Emmie: How?
Mom: You could be an artist and sell your artwork. You could start a business. You could be an author, and write books for a living. You could be a professional athlete and get paid to play sports?
Emmie: They’ll pay you for that? Playing sports is just fun. I’m going to be an artist. People won’t pay for scribbly-dibbly art though. It needs to be special and I have just the idea.
Mom: What is your idea?
Emmie: I can’t tell you or else you’ll create it first.
Kristine Joy, Writer 
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